Merry Christmas!

I don't know exactly how it is that I find myself on the computer so early this morning. I think it has something to do with waking up, starting to think, and... well, that was all she wrote for my time in the bed. I had to come into the computer room to Google something and then I had to look up something related to my Google search on Dictionary.com. Now I'm on to a blog entry and wondering why my keyboard is misbehaving. Bizarre.

I just learned how to spell tangential - I thought there was no "i". Yay me.

So... Merry Christmas to all and to all a good day

Urghl...

Wasn't my last post about having not posted in too long of a time?!?! (I wouldn't know; I haven't read my blog since the last time I posted - TWO months ago!)

So I'm sitting here listening to my friends Spiral Rhythm. They're vunderbar! (Don't shoot me, I really don't speak any real German.) I'm reveling in my new job at one of the "world's leading confectionary companies". I'm blessing all the heavens above that there is very little DRAMA in my life at the moment. I'm thinking of leaving my husband (who won't answer his cell phone) a note to tell him that our three-year-old had a poop so big it clogged our upstairs toilet. (What?!? ME use the plunger, WHATEVER!) I'm in wonder at the fact that this is the first thing I've written in over two weeks... what's more, I think I'm okay with that fact. I'm wondering when my good friend Kit is gonna "pop" and welcome the newest member of our Wednesday mommies' group.

And I'm tickled with my silly self for coming up with "smart-soundin'" tags for this post. Anyone out there know XML? I'm trying to learn and could use a few astute pointers, web resources, etc.

Love ya's all!

Aha-ha-ha-ha

Amazing the things we begin and allow to lapse and start over and forget about and try again...

I've been reading (and re-reading) a comforting book called "Making Your Creative Dreams REAL" by SARK. It's a very forgiving way of following your OWN path toward the dreams you have, be they outlandish or practical or somewhere in between.

From it I've been learning a lot about my own creative process - not only the measurement of my progress, but truly of the process itself. I dream of being a well-fed, published writer. I think I learned to be a storyteller when I was very young so it's a dream that's been nurtured since I can remember. It's also a dream that's ripe for moving into it's next phase, shifting its incarnation from a hidden, little-shared state to (at least) peeking out into the big, glorious, scary, wonderful world.

Another suggestion SARK offers is to make microMOVEments - these are small steps that eventually add up to bigger and bigger accomplishments. My past two weeks have been full of these small steps (plus a few of what I call macroMOVEments) and has resulted in my having a mostly clean, somewhat usable craft room for the first time in many, many, months.

Just in case I never get to say it anywhere else, thanks SARK!

My "Good Friday"

I am to be laid off from my job tomorrow. I was not really surprised to find this out, but still had a moment of tentative fear.

Then, as I glanced over the things on my desk, my eyes landed on the calendar, which showed that tomorrow, Friday, April 6, 2007, is Good Friday (the Christian holiday).

I thought this relatively amusing since I have been wanting for a while to be rid of the burden of my workplace. This morning, just to remind myself that I can make it through these last two tedious days, I looked up the definition of Good Friday on Wikipedia:

"Good Friday is a holy day observed by Christians. Special prayer services are often held on this day with readings from the Gospel giving accounts of the events leading up to the crucifixion. Mainstream Christian churches view Christ's crucifixion as a voluntary and vicarious act, and one by which, along with resurrection on the third day, death itself was conquered."

It is a celebration of DEATH ITSELF [BEING] CONQUERED!!!

How apropos... I am so happy to experience this "little death" (oh wait, that's Shakespearean language for "orgasm" - haha - still somewhat appropriate, I guess) and know that new life awaits just beyond!

I am going back to my roots, banking on my passions combined with my talents instead of just my "abilities" - such a lack luster term. The thought alone causes my heart to swell with positive anticipation - and that is how I am sure that I am headed in the right direction!

The Beginning of the End

And the start of something new!

As with all things, a cycle of my life is reaching its conclusion. I celebrate the coming of this end because it brings with it the promise for a reinvention of my world.

For the first time in my long, somewhat tumultuous career history, I have been confronted with a layoff. It, luckily, didn't strike out of the blue and I find that the simple knowledge that the path is set has begun to open many other doors of possibility.

It won't be a "walk in the park," but I feel strongly that I needed this weight removed from my shoulders before I could stand tall again.

Let's all hope that this will give me more time and space (and energy) to return to those things that nourish my spirit - Like BLOGGING!

Of All Things Time

I have often had the sense that certain parts of my life are flying by with a startling rapidity while other parts drag on like a decaying corpse sealed in time by an embalmer's ministrations...

I read an article this morning on Thai "body snatchers" (just before flipping over to check out Britney's bald head - she still has a pretty face). These folks are mostly Buddhist volunteers who outfit their own personal vehicles to be able to transport injured or expired people to the appropriate destinations (medical or morgue). They, because of their beliefs, pick up every bit of a person they can find so the person will be reborn whole in their next incarnation. What a genuinely morbid way to start a day that will inevitably (for me) include reading investigations about people suspected of committing insurance fraud... Perhaps it's high time I peruse alternative employment!

Disillusionment

Though it's at first tough to be confronted by a facade falling away to reveal the true (and in this case unpleasant) nature of a person, place or idea, ultimately it's rewarding. At the most basic level, the least that will come out of a situation like that is that you will be unlikely to repeat the steps that took you to that place.

For me, I believe that I will start with approaching work-related friendships with a bit more reserve. I found myself inadvertently in the middle of an unfortunate situation in the workplace due to a friendship I'd been cultivating for over two years. The fact that the friendship had survived one of us changing jobs had indicated to me that it may evolve; however, that does not now seem to be the case. The disillusionment came in the form of an epiphany that my friend was NOT going to be changing behaviors that were detrimental to her health and the health of her children, no matter how much she spoke with me about WANTING to change.

I admit to being a bit slow to change negative patterns in my own life and certainly some decisions to change are more difficult than others. This being a matter involving children, I felt that more expedient attention should be given in this case - at least, that is how I myself would have wished to handle it.

While I hate to see a friendship die, I am learning the value of letting those that have ceased to be of value to both parties go into the dust so that new friendships can be birthed in their place. I wish my friend well and while I imagine I may hear from her from time to time, I do not forsee us being able to return to where we once were.

Reconnecting

I've had the distinct pleasure of recently reconnecting with one of my cousins on my mother's side. We've had fun discovering how our lives have been both similar and dissimilar, reminisced about long ago Christmastimes and generally begun creating a friendship I hope will be long-lasting.

It makes me wonder how many of my other cousins would have an interest in rekindling family ties. I have cousins that range in age from my parents' age to my son's age who are scattered all across the country... What sort of fun might we all have if we could interact easily? It kind of makes me want to start building a family tree website where we could all "meet" and share our lives a little more frequently than we otherwise would. I know it's not a new idea, but it could sure be interesting!

Allocating Stolen Moments

So, perhaps I'm not the only one who utilizes time "on the clock" to accomplish tasks other than those assigned to me by my employer, but I'm sure I get some of the most creative use out of that time!

I've put together post card mailings, created web sites (and blogs), retraced family roots, paid bills, gone on online shopping sprees, caught up with current events worldwide, researched obscure subject matter, written short stories, slept (yup, slept), and even took time to just do nothing at all.

Which makes me think about a couple things in particular:

What if I had allocated those stolen moments to something truly productive or, in more specific terms, lucrative? How could I have (let's think business for a minute) leveraged my time and created a product or service from which I could earn income? I admit, I have done extensive research on different ways to make money; I've simply never followed through with any of them.

Also, I often wonder: if I was working in a field for which I had true passion, would I be as likely to look for diversions or would I spend those "free" moments hunting for ways to further my knowledge and experience in those areas I find rewarding? I want to believe the best of myself but I have to realize that almost everyone needs an escape from even those things they are most passionate about sometimes.

Finally, I have to reflect on those things I do have the most passion for at this moment (in random order):
Healthful Eating/Cooking
Writing
Crocheting
My Young but Maturing Family
Spiritual Growth (no definable path)

I know that even in the wake of an impending (inevitable?) change of employment, I know I will probably always have "stolen moments" during which I can continue to grow and evolve - and those moments mean the world to me!