Some Fascinating Math

While it was on my mind, I wanted to get something noted down. I began to think about some of the negative connotation words I use to describe myself in my thoughts (and occasionally out loud, too). The two worst offenders are lazy and mediocre. Procrastinator is another.

I guess “lazy” and “procrastinator” go hand in hand in terms of what I use them to describe. I tend to apply the “lazy” label to any time I do something other than housework or cooking when I’m at home. I can admit to being less than perfect in the housekeeping category, but I am often doing something that is enriching to my life or Noah’s life in some way other than those two narrow chores. I know they’re necessary, but so is living life.

So here’s some math I worked out…

I work an 8-hour/day, 40-hour/week full-time job – plus an extra 1 hr. 20 min. per day for to/from work drive and lunch. That means that 46 hours of my week are spent related to work.

Since I only get about 6.5 hrs. sleep on any given weekday, that’s another 32.5 hours well-spent. 46 + 32.5 = 78.5 of 168; that leaves 89.5 hours. Oh, I forgot sleeping on the weekend – 16 hours over two days – brings the balance down to 73.5. An hour of nap / rest time each afternoon, weekends included, 7 hours. Remaining hours: 66.5.

Oh, I forgot to factor in that in the morning on weekdays, it takes me about 45 minutes to get ready for work – 3.75 hrs. 62.75 hours remaining.

So – in any given week, 37.35% of my time (62.75 hours out of 168 total) – is all that's available for cooking, cleaning, caring for Noodle, caring for myself above and beyond the “necessities”, running errands (including grocery shopping), financial matters, familial and friendship development, homeowner’s obligations, and spiritual growth.

Hmm… I’m really not feeling like “lazy” applies anymore. What do you think?

I, Meme, Mine...

OK - I haven't memed much, but I couldn't even finish reading my bud's post before I had to hijack it for my own. Sue me. Also, I must be congratulated for posting twice in a day. Well, I don't have to have congrats... I guess.

Who was your FIRST Homecoming date?
When I was a senior I took a guy who was younger than me (a Sophomore, heaven forfend) to a homecoming dance - basketball - because I was a candidate... because I made my friends on the team nominate me. I was having a rotten "me, me, me" year.

What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
I'm sure it was beer. I'm sure I was no more than 3. I'm sure I have had maybe 3 since. Foul stuff.

What was your FIRST job?
Eckerd Drugs. Cashier. Booooooring. Retail is not my forte.

What was your FIRST car?
1984 silver-blue Pontiac Firebird with T-tops and flip-up lights. Soooo redneck, soooo freakin' cool.

Who was the FIRST person to text you today?
Dunno - phone battery's dead. Probably no one.

Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?
My hubby.

Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
Mrs. Johnson. Matthews Elementary, Virginia.

Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
I think it was probably from Georgia to Virginia - I think. From one parent to the other for a summer visit. Solo.

Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
Lisa Cutch. Or Kutch. She was missing her two front teeth for the year-and-a-half we were friends. I'd have no idea how to find her now. I wonder if she remembers me.

Who was your FIRST kiss?
Dav - Short for Davenport. Oh... my... goddess. Set the Gold Standard, for sure.

Where was your FIRST sleep over?
Maybe at my friend Shelly's house. She lived "catty-corner" across the street from my grandparents' house. My grama's term - I have no idea how to spell it.

Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?
My hubby. See the previous post today for more on that interaction.

Whose wedding were you in FIRST?
I think it was a friend I went to high school with, after we had both graduated from college.

What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
Stretched, read a few pages of a book, got out of bed, washed my face... Ahhh, Saturdays.

What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
Alabama. Not in Alabama. In Michigan.

FIRST tattoo and/or piercing?
Pierced my ears when I was 9, 10 and 11 (for a total of 5 holes). First tat was a sunshine on the inside of my right ankle.

FIRST foreign country you went to?
Canada. When I was fifteen.

FIRST movie you remember seeing in the theater?
Good heavens... "Goonies"?

When was your FIRST detention?
I never had one. (Yes, this echoes my friend's answer - it applies.)

What was the FIRST state you lived in?
Pennsylvania.

Have you ever called a person useless?
Perhaps. One of my favorite quotes from the Firefly episode "Shindig" - "Forgive my rudeness; I cannot abide useless people."

What object in your room is really important to you?
My notebooks, probably. They contain so many thoughts and notes and pontifications; I could never replace them.

Are you good at hiding your feelings?
Nah. They show on my face and in my posture.

Would you kiss an ugly person for $1,000?
This is a patently odd question. I think I'll have to pass.

What kind of sense of humor do you have?
Patently odd. But not in the same way as the previous question was patently odd.

Do you usually tell people when they hurt your feelings?
Not necessarily.

Do your initials spell out a word?
Mr. R

When is the last time you talked to an ex?
It must've been in like 2000. We had lunch - it was all on the up-and-up.

How often do you give high fives?
Every day - I have a three-year-old. He digs it.

What does the 10th text in your inbox say?
I can't look - My cell phone battery is dead... As usual.

Is your shirt new?
Yup. Mutts. Hot pink. From the Evil Empire. Sue me.

Where is the last place you went to go eat?
IHOP. This morning.

Have you bought any clothing items in the past week?
A couple shirts. They're cute, too. (My husband thinks they're sexy - can't beat that.)

Do you live near your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
I think one of them is nearby (within 30 miles or so). One is in New York and another is in the D.C. area. No idea about any of the others.

If you had to sleep with a teacher from high school, who would it be?
Mr. Ahr. He was from elementary school. And I'm making the assumption that he would still look like he did then, since it's a ridiculous hypothetical anyway.

Has your house ever been TPd?
Nope.

Do you sing in the shower?
I would except for the fact that I usually shower while everyone else in the house is asleep.

Where is the last place you went shopping?
Publix - chips and dip.

Do you have the same name as one of your relatives?
Huh? The same last name. Oh, first name? Nope.

What kind of car does your sibling drive?
One of them has a sweet little Audi A6, one has a Ford Freestyle, one has a Nissan Sentra.

What kind of car do you drive?
A 1993 Honda Accord. My son calls it my "sweet little dirty red car".

Are you looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend?
You offering? (Hee hee. No, I'm happy as is.)

How old will you be in 8 months?
Thirty-four.

Do you prefer a call or a text?
Depends on the situation.

Did you enjoy your last kiss?
Mmmm-hmmm.

Have you ever been on television?
Yup. On the three news networks, during a "feel-good" segment featuring a class trip to a pizza joint. I was in, like, fifth grade.

How many cities/towns have you lived in?
Eeek! How could I count? My parents were Army first and afterward roving maniacs.

Do your parents drink coffee every morning?
I'm pretty sure they do because they always dig out our coffee maker when they visit.

Have you ever donated blood?
I don't think so - I keep getting tatoos around the time an opportunity arises. That's an automatic "thanks, but no thanks."

One song that's meaningful to you?
32 Flavors by Ani Difranco from the album Not A Pretty Girl

Impromptu Saturdays

Well I know it wasn't you who held me down

Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free

So often times it happens that we live our lives in chains

And we never even know we have the key

from The Eagles "Already Gone"

We've had a remarkably wonderful day (see? here I am remarking about it!) so far and it started off with me going to pick Hubby up at the car repair place... only I went to the wrong place! About 15 or 20 miles in the opposite direction. Oh well.

Then we all (Hubby, Noodle and I) went to get breakfast at IHOP (mmm... buttermilk pancakes...). On our way back to the house, we decided to go to the lake. More precisely, to the dam. We walked down by the water then started down one of the trails. Forty-five minutes and two pee-on-a-tree breaks (the boys, not me) later, we turned back only because Noodle and I had poor walking shoes on and we were all getting thirsty.

I just love the spur-of-the-moment nature of our Saturdays together. Sure, we plan sometimes. Most often, however, we wake up and start our day with little thought for where it might take us. I lament not having the camera with us to at least have one measely shot to post, but we'll be back there soon enough. I'm sure of it!

Now, it occurs to me that I might ought to make a comment as to why the quote above really does apply to this post. No, really - hear me out. Had I allowed myself to get all frazzled or ticked off, in all likelihood I would have attracted more unpleasant events into the day. But I didn't. I kind of said a mental "oops!" and drove to the right place. I knew Hubby had a book to read so he couldn't have been too put-out. And besides, he just said, "Come get me at the car place." He didn't specify which car place and I made an assumtion. Heck, it was early (for a Saturday) and my brain was barely functioning when he kissed me goodbye. It was all good, though, no worries. I like no worries, leaves more energy for doing fun things like hiking by the dam!

Wine & Hummus... A Vacation Story

I was consuming those particular comestibles when I hauled my arse of the chair at my kitchen table in order to hike up the stairs and plop in the chair in front of the computer. I also spent a good deal of time on vacation enjoying the very same things.

I also mention them because it was wine in particular that must, must have been responsible for making one particular incident involving hummus on the day we arrived at our cabin tolerable... well, funny even. Anyone who knows the Noodle Dude is aware of his persnickety eating habits. In a truly peculiar turn of character, however, he actually loves hummus. So it was that we were enjoying the deck in front of our cabin, ingesting the aforementioned goodies when Noodle attempted a rather larger than manageable bite of the dip and, well, gagged himself and hurled all over me. It wasn't too bad - at least he missed my face. My dear sweet hubby and I couldn't help but dissolve in giggles. Cheap wine at its best, soothing the harsh events of life with overly sweet goodness.

The best part? Noodle went back to eating hummus later that evening! I thought I was done for sure on that score...

I'll be back soon with more vacation escapades, but first I have to locate drivers for my durn Handycam video camera. I forgot to take my blasted still camera with us (how? no idea...) so we were limited. It had some really interesting ramifications, though. You'll see!

(Hey Kit - I was one month to the day!! Ha-haa!)

Random recommendation: Cake's song "Jolene" from the album Motorcade of Generosity (1994)
The quality of this video isn't the best, but beggars, well, you know...

Oooh Girl

So, here I was, all ready to write a nice, scathing, ranty post after a fairly long hiatus. So, I log into my Google account so that I can get into my Blogger account and they've changed the layout. So, up pops a little menu with different offerings like CNN.com's latest news and what's been recently viewed on YouTube. At first I was irritated. Then I noticed the title of one of the YouTube videos...tee hee

"Ooh Girl: An Honest R&B Song"

There went my rant... right out the window...

After All

After all the time I spent getting an idea, going to my craft room to dig out my computer (because my husband is on the laptop downstairs and the iMac is turned off plus it handles this site in a funny way), putting away the crafting supplies that were covering the computer desk (which is in reality a drafting table, but the only thing I had on hand to serve the purpose), shooing Noodle out of the craft room (where he was trying everything possible to hold my attention), cleaning up Kitty poo (always seems to appear in the craft room when I'm not looking), going downstairs to get some asthma medicine to clear up the breathing problem that developed while I was cleaning, getting waylaid by my husband who insisted I call my family to find out if we're going to have visitors today (more potential cleaning) and finding some tolerable music to listen to while I type... I have nearly forgotten why I felt the need to come in here in the first place.

I recall it having, in an essential way, something to do with blogging and the amount of personal information we share in these rather public forums and whether it has anything to do with the fact that we spent eons in close-knit communities that were obliviated in the space of two generations (it's an estimate, don't knitpick). Is this our answer? Did we recreate our community space with the advent of the internet? How vastly different is this kind of communication, one-way, annonymous, fraught with the perils of the incongruity between those words we would speak and those words we type, the ideas that emerge when we have only our own minds winging along without interaction? I don't really have any answers and I do find solace in things other people write about, but then I always have found solace and comfort in books, which are not so very different in their mode of communication. Perhaps better thought out since more than one reads them before they are "posted", but you get the picture.

A complete aside: My son refers to letters that I post through snail mail as "email". This is his world now and I can only hope to remain relevant as the years pass and the technology advances. What can it be like, I wonder, for those few souls still living who were born early in the last century who had no electricity, no running water, no phones, TVs, computers, cars? What will my life be like when I reach an advanced age?

How random can a post get and still be cohesive?

Family

It's a totally simple yet utterly perplexing premise.

It's the people with whom you share genetic material, right? Maybe. Maybe not.

It's the people who raise you, right? Maybe. Maybe not.

When a concept can be defined with nearly unlimited variants, you have to wonder about the viability of the word to be able to convey a unified idea to anyone who hears it.

And yet. (Yes, I started a sentence with a conjunction. And I'll likely do it again.)

And yet... say the word family to anyone in the world and they will know know deeply. They will first think of their own family. If they can get past all the thoughts that process engenders, they may be able to conceive that your family (in all likelihood) differs a great deal from their own.

Beyond that, well, that's where all of life's greatest triumphs and tragedies reside, no? There are people related to me by blood for whom I have strongly negative feelings, while there are people I've known less than a quarter of my life for whom I have the fondest of feelings.

Your family is comprised of all those people you love - whether that be one person or a hundred and fifty. The people to whom you can turn for help, even if asking for that help is the hardest thing you've ever done. The people, regardless of their genetic composition, that form the basis of your life. You never know when they'll enter your life... or when they'll leave it.

I'd like to think I have something profound to say to close off this post, but I don't. I've just been thinking lately about all the folks I love and it's quite a list. A list I'm very proud of, at that!

Two Finished Projects and Some Fun

Like all the other (laundry) things I've been procrastinating, I've been holding on to pictures of some of my FOs for a while. (I recently discovered this term "FO" for Finished Object and its counterpart "UFO" for Unfinished Objects... me likey mucho.)

Here is a small afghan that I gave to a co-worker anxiously awaiting the arrival of his first-born:

I like it - it was soft and simple and easy and pretty. Doesn't get much better than that!

Here's my first full-sized afghan, for a good friend who needed something nice:

Again, it was simple, but it pleased me greatly to have the patience to finish something so large - it's about 6' long by 3.5' wide, my largest completed project to date.

And for a little levity...

I tortured my Noodle Dude by wiping water all over his face after we finished washing our hands. He hates it when his father or I do it... so we do it, every so often, just because.

(Yeah, it was as loud as it looks.)

Organized Doodles: A Friendly Little Game

I found this post over at Organized Doodles: A Friendly Little Game. I laughed so hard, really deep belly laughs, all the while ignoring my son's demands of, "What's so funny, Mommy?" Since he's only three-and-a-half and he doesn't really get poo humor (toot humor, well, he loves that), I didn't even try to relate the story. I can honestly say that we've had no poo stories of note in his whole life (so far) with the exception of being surprised at the sometimes prodigious amount of the stuff. But I appreciate having the oppportunity to laugh at other people's interesting adventures in kid-raising - Thanks Rick!

Feeling Artistic

The "Creative Spirit" has been lingering about our abode for the past several days (if she ever really left us at all). It's been a positive thing and a not-so-positive thing - we really have been avoiding the other sundry responsibilities that go along with homeownership and parenthood. As a result, we had to focus all of both of our attentions on the little Noodle Dude just to get him to eat one small serving of baked chicken (which he usually gobbles up without incident). It was frustrating in the extreme but I treated myself to a little R&R after the ordeal and finished this:

Wind-Fire

I'm not totally thrilled with the color job (or the photograph) but I am quite enamored of the media: pencil, sharpie marker, and watercolor pencils. These last are quickly becoming my favorite way to "paint". I haven't had much success with acrylics, oil pastels or tempera (see my previous attempt). The watercolor pencils, though, they seem easier and faster - and accomplish exactly the look I'm going for without a lot of theory or practice. Lazy? Maybe. Perfectly fine by an over-stimulated, high goal-setting wife/mom. So there.

I Love Ani

I have tried three times to embed a video of Ani DiFranco from an interview in Spinner without success. So I guess I'll have to settle for the link. She's a mommy now and the video of the same song ("Both Hands") from her website has her little munchkin in it. Cute. Enjoy!

Apparently, I'm a glutton for punishment. I just have to try again with her new song "Present/Infant":

Meme Avoidance

I'm not (really) ashamed to admit that I'm a meme virgin. I just Googled "What is a 'meme'?" I still don't get it. But I've been tagged (and I bet she thought I forgot), so I'll give it a go.

First, the rules:
1. Link to the person who tagged you. See above.
2. Post the rules on your blog. Here they are!
3. Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself. See below.
4. Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs.
5. Let each random person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their website.

Six (sechs, six, sei, seis) Non-important Things About Moi

I like French. The language, the country where it originated, La Francophonie - and I occasionally butcher it with as much grace as I can muster. Excuse me while I do some more boucherie... Si vous parlez français, venez-ici pour un jeux j'ai trouver: http://www.xs4all.nl/~tluif/EngFrans2.html

I used to LOVE watching those crap kung fu movies where all the dialogue is dubbed and the barely existant plot is mostly related to some sort of vengance/retribution.

Hmmm... I'm trying to think of things I might not have mentioned to my friends, the ones most likely to even read this post...

I take on certain characteristics of the people around whom I spend most of my time. I don't realize I'm doing it right away and once I am aware, I usually just hope that the person I'm immitating doesn't notice. Or doesn't care.

I'm a little obsessive about daydreaming. I do it a lot. Really, I leave my mental back door open all the time, just in case a nice Spring breeze blows by. I'm sure it annoys people who are trying to talk to me about important stuff while I'm in la-la land. But I can't help it; I started doing it so long ago I can't/don't want to slam that door now.

I'm a late-blossoming Sci-Fi geek. I love Stargate in all its incarnations and especially Jason Momoa (Whoa momma, yummers - I'd swing from his dreds ANY day). I'm a Browncoat (Ay, ay, Captain Tightpants) through and through. But I never read any of the stuff as a kid.

Holy crap, I've been working on this post for a long time. Too many things to stop and search.

I was terrified, thanks to my great-grandmother, of indians when I was a kid. In particular, I was afraid that they would be hiding under my bed. When I was in fourth or fifth grade, I pushed the matress off my bed onto the floor between the bed and the outside wall so that (kid logic follows) if an indian came in the room to scalp me, he wouldn't see me and he would continue searching elsewhere for hapless victims. I never have completely discarded the fear that something might be lurking under the bed, but it no longer strikes me as being (insert war-whoop here)-type. More of the dark, insidious creature that likes to grab ankles sort.

Urgh - I'm crapping out on the last part of the meme - the blogger from from whom I received the tag and the blogger who tagged her are the only two bloggers I know personally. If I cultivate more friendships in the future, I'll come back to this section.

There you have it! Now, it's almost 10 p.m. and my Mr. Momoa is coming on in just a few minutes. Later!

Yes, We Can

To my mind, this is a beautiful example of the way music can send a message more powerfully than the unadorned words in the much same way that color brings a photo to life.

A "Gaggle" Got Me Going

Gaggle
–verb (used without object)
1. to cackle.
–noun
2. a flock of geese when not flying.
3. an often noisy or disorderly group or gathering
4. an assortment of related things.

gaggle. Dictionary.com. Dictionary.com Unabridged (v 1.1). Random House, Inc. http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/gaggle (accessed: February 05, 2008).

I looked this word up (on my fourth browser tab this sitting) because I was reading a newsletter from a link in my email that talked about writers establishing websites for themselves. I have had a couple blogs, this one included, that I have kept up only sporadically and a domain I have never used... Just like the last domain I never used prior to both the hosting and the domain running out. (Fifth browser tab opened to check and see who's using that old domain - hmmm... not terrible: http://www.craniumstudios.com/)

Anyway, I was thinking of my currently unused domain/hosting services and began to ponder text for it. What else does a writer do if not ponder text, eh? I envision some melding together of my like-minded friends' talents and in such a vision, some of the intro text might look something like this:

Our gaggle of gals boasts impressive talent in a variety of creative milieux. Passion for community in its myriad forms brought us together and we've all grown thanks to the experiences we've shared. Now we would like to share those experiences with a larger audience.

I know, it's raw, but I like the words "gaggle" and "milieux" - And I know what I mean, so let's just call this a rough draft. Maybe I'll lose the alliteration at the front end.

Okay, so here's the call (don't worry, I'm sure I'll make it again in person) - To all my Black Hats and other like-minded female folk, I would like to extend the invitation to launch Persnickety Me with me. I might need some whipping (won't that be fun?) to keep at it, but I need (on so many levels) to complete this one thing. I'm happy to find space for links, arts & crafts for sale, recommendations, articles, whatever floats anyone's boat. I'm learning the computer side so it might be very basic at first, but I've got a couple tricks up the proverbial sleeve.

See you all real soon!

Playing at Painter

I've been playing in my son's tempera paints this evening, enjoying myself, but wishing I had some actual idea of what I was doing. To bring it to this point, I then had to take a picture on my digital camera, upload it to Google's Picasa Web Album, then figure out how to embed it here. I'm sure plenty of folks have figured this out prior to me, but it felt like a bit of a coup for me.

coup n. - 1. a highly successful, unexpected stroke, act, or move; a clever action or accomplishment

I guess I was paticularly pleased with myself because it didn't take a day-and-a-half to figure it out, which indicates (to me, at least) that I'm finally gaining some proficiency with this blogging thing.

Sheesh - I'm sleepy. I'll leave my photo of my amateur painting up for all to adore (hahahaha) and climb in the bed... That's still unmade. At least the sheets are "hork-free"!

21 Days, Multitudinous Habits

What got me thinking about all the habits I would do well to improve upon? Kitty hork. Hork is our generic household term for anything that spews forth from the front end of our centuries old feline fellow. He donated a rather generous hork to the carpet in our front living room this morning before I could skid stocking-footed into the vicinity to alter his trajectory. Tragic.

Further pontification on the subject reminded me that we've been displaced from our bedroom for a whole week due to an unfortunate combination of Kitty hork and a poor habit of mine. Laundry. The great demon whichs spawns itself anew with each passing day. A dear friend says she rather enjoys doing this hellish task - here's her blog, where you can psychoanalyze that proclivity.

So the question becomes: on which poor habits should I first focus my attention? Laundry inattentiveness, nail-biting, procrastination, less-than-optimal eating/exercise routines, poor skincare regimine? (Yes, friends, there are others, but need I air all of my "dirty laundry" in order to make my point?) One of my son's favorite TV channels is running a campaign called Kick One, Pick One - Get rid of a bad habit and replace it with a good one. I think it's reasonably admirable; kids by in large watch an inordinate amount of television, something we've had limited success curtailing. Might as well be pumping SOME good messages into them!

I'm almost sure my husband would suggest that I tame the hulking laundry beast first. It too often occupies the majority of the floor space in our (quite large) master bathroom. One time when I cleaned it all up, Noah came in and cried, "Oh no!" because he missed his climbing pile! That's kind of sad. And don't suggest that I turn the job over to hubby - I promise, he does quite enough as it is. Plus, I would have to teach him how to do it and that just seems, well, pointless.

I think my steam has run out - apparently I need refueling. Had my tea already, but I've been up for two hours with no actual food. Plus, writing this post has been so interrupted by normal morning functioning that I've gone quite off course. Two loads of laundry are in progress, so I guess this could be considered Day 1 of 21. Let's see where we go from here!

More Matisyahu

Really, just totally freakin' nifty. (Plus, the Noodle-dude CRACKED UP when he started beatboxing. Made me play the clip about six times.)

January by the Lake

I decided today that it was rather unlikely that the outdoors would come to me and that instead I ought to go to it. So I bundled up the Noodle-dude and we drove to the dam in Buford. Some of the parks were closed, but we found one that was open. After meandering down a sloped sidewalk, we went off-road and hiked through some goose poo down to the water's edge. We climbed down some rather large boulders I am quite certain are supposed to be underwater (at least, when there's no drought about). We walked among hundreds of little empty shells belonging to some mollusks long since gone or dried up too. Noodle sang out how he loved the dirt and the trees and the little nuts and the moss. Made an Earth-child mommy's heart so proud. I think I have found a suitable (and MUCH cheaper) replacement for my unused gym membership!

Matisyahu

Sleep, Precious (Lost) Sleep

I should, by all rights, still be asleep. It's my day to sleep in, yet I am awake at my normal time. Why, you ask? My sweet old man Kitty. Decided he was going to sit beside our bed (on my side) and caterwaul. It's so rutting early that I had to adjust the monitor brightness since my eyes were being burnt from my skull. (Why that brings to mind the thought of solitary confinement is beyond me. Like I said, I should still be asleep.)

However, once awake, I started thinking. Always my downfall. I thought that I needed to start writing in my blogs more (hence the post). I thought about adding some of my crafting to this blog since my life is relatively without drama (just as I like it, thank you VERY much!). I thought that I'd like to fall back asleep but my brain refused to cooperate.

I've just gone over this post to check for errors - Oh the egregious blunders one commits while tired and typing in the dark! Hope I caught 'em all...

Not a Writer?

I haven't been in the mood to write for a while... Like going on over two months or so. Really one of the oddest things I've ever experienced. I just don't feel like it. It's not as though I haven't had ideas for stories or I haven't had time or anything. I just don't FEEL like writing.

And now my smallish person is making demands on me to prevent further exposition... Perhaps there will be more later.

Merry Christmas!

I don't know exactly how it is that I find myself on the computer so early this morning. I think it has something to do with waking up, starting to think, and... well, that was all she wrote for my time in the bed. I had to come into the computer room to Google something and then I had to look up something related to my Google search on Dictionary.com. Now I'm on to a blog entry and wondering why my keyboard is misbehaving. Bizarre.

I just learned how to spell tangential - I thought there was no "i". Yay me.

So... Merry Christmas to all and to all a good day

Urghl...

Wasn't my last post about having not posted in too long of a time?!?! (I wouldn't know; I haven't read my blog since the last time I posted - TWO months ago!)

So I'm sitting here listening to my friends Spiral Rhythm. They're vunderbar! (Don't shoot me, I really don't speak any real German.) I'm reveling in my new job at one of the "world's leading confectionary companies". I'm blessing all the heavens above that there is very little DRAMA in my life at the moment. I'm thinking of leaving my husband (who won't answer his cell phone) a note to tell him that our three-year-old had a poop so big it clogged our upstairs toilet. (What?!? ME use the plunger, WHATEVER!) I'm in wonder at the fact that this is the first thing I've written in over two weeks... what's more, I think I'm okay with that fact. I'm wondering when my good friend Kit is gonna "pop" and welcome the newest member of our Wednesday mommies' group.

And I'm tickled with my silly self for coming up with "smart-soundin'" tags for this post. Anyone out there know XML? I'm trying to learn and could use a few astute pointers, web resources, etc.

Love ya's all!

Aha-ha-ha-ha

Amazing the things we begin and allow to lapse and start over and forget about and try again...

I've been reading (and re-reading) a comforting book called "Making Your Creative Dreams REAL" by SARK. It's a very forgiving way of following your OWN path toward the dreams you have, be they outlandish or practical or somewhere in between.

From it I've been learning a lot about my own creative process - not only the measurement of my progress, but truly of the process itself. I dream of being a well-fed, published writer. I think I learned to be a storyteller when I was very young so it's a dream that's been nurtured since I can remember. It's also a dream that's ripe for moving into it's next phase, shifting its incarnation from a hidden, little-shared state to (at least) peeking out into the big, glorious, scary, wonderful world.

Another suggestion SARK offers is to make microMOVEments - these are small steps that eventually add up to bigger and bigger accomplishments. My past two weeks have been full of these small steps (plus a few of what I call macroMOVEments) and has resulted in my having a mostly clean, somewhat usable craft room for the first time in many, many, months.

Just in case I never get to say it anywhere else, thanks SARK!

My "Good Friday"

I am to be laid off from my job tomorrow. I was not really surprised to find this out, but still had a moment of tentative fear.

Then, as I glanced over the things on my desk, my eyes landed on the calendar, which showed that tomorrow, Friday, April 6, 2007, is Good Friday (the Christian holiday).

I thought this relatively amusing since I have been wanting for a while to be rid of the burden of my workplace. This morning, just to remind myself that I can make it through these last two tedious days, I looked up the definition of Good Friday on Wikipedia:

"Good Friday is a holy day observed by Christians. Special prayer services are often held on this day with readings from the Gospel giving accounts of the events leading up to the crucifixion. Mainstream Christian churches view Christ's crucifixion as a voluntary and vicarious act, and one by which, along with resurrection on the third day, death itself was conquered."

It is a celebration of DEATH ITSELF [BEING] CONQUERED!!!

How apropos... I am so happy to experience this "little death" (oh wait, that's Shakespearean language for "orgasm" - haha - still somewhat appropriate, I guess) and know that new life awaits just beyond!

I am going back to my roots, banking on my passions combined with my talents instead of just my "abilities" - such a lack luster term. The thought alone causes my heart to swell with positive anticipation - and that is how I am sure that I am headed in the right direction!

The Beginning of the End

And the start of something new!

As with all things, a cycle of my life is reaching its conclusion. I celebrate the coming of this end because it brings with it the promise for a reinvention of my world.

For the first time in my long, somewhat tumultuous career history, I have been confronted with a layoff. It, luckily, didn't strike out of the blue and I find that the simple knowledge that the path is set has begun to open many other doors of possibility.

It won't be a "walk in the park," but I feel strongly that I needed this weight removed from my shoulders before I could stand tall again.

Let's all hope that this will give me more time and space (and energy) to return to those things that nourish my spirit - Like BLOGGING!

Of All Things Time

I have often had the sense that certain parts of my life are flying by with a startling rapidity while other parts drag on like a decaying corpse sealed in time by an embalmer's ministrations...

I read an article this morning on Thai "body snatchers" (just before flipping over to check out Britney's bald head - she still has a pretty face). These folks are mostly Buddhist volunteers who outfit their own personal vehicles to be able to transport injured or expired people to the appropriate destinations (medical or morgue). They, because of their beliefs, pick up every bit of a person they can find so the person will be reborn whole in their next incarnation. What a genuinely morbid way to start a day that will inevitably (for me) include reading investigations about people suspected of committing insurance fraud... Perhaps it's high time I peruse alternative employment!

Disillusionment

Though it's at first tough to be confronted by a facade falling away to reveal the true (and in this case unpleasant) nature of a person, place or idea, ultimately it's rewarding. At the most basic level, the least that will come out of a situation like that is that you will be unlikely to repeat the steps that took you to that place.

For me, I believe that I will start with approaching work-related friendships with a bit more reserve. I found myself inadvertently in the middle of an unfortunate situation in the workplace due to a friendship I'd been cultivating for over two years. The fact that the friendship had survived one of us changing jobs had indicated to me that it may evolve; however, that does not now seem to be the case. The disillusionment came in the form of an epiphany that my friend was NOT going to be changing behaviors that were detrimental to her health and the health of her children, no matter how much she spoke with me about WANTING to change.

I admit to being a bit slow to change negative patterns in my own life and certainly some decisions to change are more difficult than others. This being a matter involving children, I felt that more expedient attention should be given in this case - at least, that is how I myself would have wished to handle it.

While I hate to see a friendship die, I am learning the value of letting those that have ceased to be of value to both parties go into the dust so that new friendships can be birthed in their place. I wish my friend well and while I imagine I may hear from her from time to time, I do not forsee us being able to return to where we once were.

Reconnecting

I've had the distinct pleasure of recently reconnecting with one of my cousins on my mother's side. We've had fun discovering how our lives have been both similar and dissimilar, reminisced about long ago Christmastimes and generally begun creating a friendship I hope will be long-lasting.

It makes me wonder how many of my other cousins would have an interest in rekindling family ties. I have cousins that range in age from my parents' age to my son's age who are scattered all across the country... What sort of fun might we all have if we could interact easily? It kind of makes me want to start building a family tree website where we could all "meet" and share our lives a little more frequently than we otherwise would. I know it's not a new idea, but it could sure be interesting!

Allocating Stolen Moments

So, perhaps I'm not the only one who utilizes time "on the clock" to accomplish tasks other than those assigned to me by my employer, but I'm sure I get some of the most creative use out of that time!

I've put together post card mailings, created web sites (and blogs), retraced family roots, paid bills, gone on online shopping sprees, caught up with current events worldwide, researched obscure subject matter, written short stories, slept (yup, slept), and even took time to just do nothing at all.

Which makes me think about a couple things in particular:

What if I had allocated those stolen moments to something truly productive or, in more specific terms, lucrative? How could I have (let's think business for a minute) leveraged my time and created a product or service from which I could earn income? I admit, I have done extensive research on different ways to make money; I've simply never followed through with any of them.

Also, I often wonder: if I was working in a field for which I had true passion, would I be as likely to look for diversions or would I spend those "free" moments hunting for ways to further my knowledge and experience in those areas I find rewarding? I want to believe the best of myself but I have to realize that almost everyone needs an escape from even those things they are most passionate about sometimes.

Finally, I have to reflect on those things I do have the most passion for at this moment (in random order):
Healthful Eating/Cooking
Writing
Crocheting
My Young but Maturing Family
Spiritual Growth (no definable path)

I know that even in the wake of an impending (inevitable?) change of employment, I know I will probably always have "stolen moments" during which I can continue to grow and evolve - and those moments mean the world to me!